Callum turned 3 months old on May 11, which happened to fall on Mother’s Day this year! I can’t believe 3 months have already passed. What a blessing he is. His very existence made me become a mother, Roman a father, our siblings aunts and uncles for the first time, and our parents became grandparents. He holds a special place in our lives, and we love him more than any words could possibly describe. These first few months of being parents for the first time were not without their challenges, and I wanted to be able to write for my own memories someday how far we have all progressed as a little family of three. And since the MOST important reader someday of this post will be Callum himself, I’ll write this to him. 🙂
Temperament/Personality: Sweet Callum, since you were in Mommy’s belly, you have ALWAYS been incredibly stubborn and headstrong. Always. I could never make you move or kick. You gave us a few frights because of that sometimes! Since your birth, not much has changed in the way of that. You are still very headstrong and stubborn. You never took to a pacifier or any contraption or gadget bought to occupy your time and keep you happy. You also never liked being held like a baby. Always upright for you. You get bored very easily and need constant entertainment from someone when you are awake, and we usually have to keep changing activities and toys since you get bored quickly. And boy, do you let us know! Son, you are the loudest baby I have ever heard in my life. Even in the hospital, the doctors said you were one of the loudest babies they had ever heard. In the beginning, you were extremely fussy. If you were awake, you were usually crying. Now you laugh and smile, and you spend lots of time talking to us, but you are still overall a high-maintenance baby. Early on, it was very rare for anyone else other than Mama to be able to hold you without you screaming. Now, you wait a bit longer with new faces before calling out for Mama or Papa. So far, you are a bit slow to warm up and very cautious of new people and surroundings. You definitely observe before doing. But once you feel comfortable enough, which isn’t long, you just go go go and keep us laughing the whole time. You are doing things now to make us laugh, and you are very aware of that. You interact so much now, and you love hamming it up when I am taking your picture or a video of you. When you are doing something cute that I want to record, I have to sneak the camera or else you will stop and just focus on that. I wouldn’t say you are an easy baby at 3 months, but you are definitely easier overall (or Mom is just better at handling you!!). You laugh and smile with us, and you are very talkative. Your sweet smile somehow makes all of the tough times worth it. It doesn’t matter if you are in a good mood or bad mood, everything you do, you do with lots of passion. You are going to do amazing things someday.
Likes: Since you were in Mommy’s belly, you have had a special relationship with music. We listen to music every day. You love listening to the “Dance of the Clowns” from Tchaikovsky’s The Nutcracker. You also really love Pearl Jam’s Backspacer album and Will Smith’s song, “Gettin’ Jiggy With It.” Even though I play lots of different kinds of music for you, you always calm down with those three selections. Go figure. We also think it is so incredible that you move in rhythm to the beat of whatever song is playing. We will definitely encourage a musical instrument when you are older. You also love books. Even though you are kind of a high-maintenance baby who gets bored easily, you will sit for quite awhile while I read to you. Your favorite books are the black and white picture books and baby faces books from your Great Aunt Ann. You sit and smile back to the babies on the page. You also love playing airplane with Papa. He’ll fly you around the apartment, and your little face just lights up, especially when he flies you right to Mama for a smooch! You also like moving and kicking. Your activity jungle is perfect for you! You get so excited when you hit the tiger that plays a song when you roll the attached ball with your little hand. You kick the little parrot with your foot. Your little feet just never stop moving. At first you hated diaper changes, but now you do really well during them. You love looking at the wall I decorated with lots of fun pictures for you. You travel very well and do quite well in the car. You hate being put in your carseat, and once in it, you need to stay in motion. You fuss as soon as you are still for 1 second. Yes, I have counted. But once you are in the car, you usually fall to sleep and give us some peace and quiet. You also like when we wear you in the baby carrier from your Grandpa and Kiki. You just love being with us, and we love you and want you with us. So it works for everyone. The BEST time for you is bath time. You LOVE bath time. We used to bathe you in your baby tub on our bathroom floor, but you successfully kicked half of the water out of the tub and onto the floor every time we gave you a bath. Papa always had to clean up! In recent weeks, we have moved your baby tub into the big bath tub. That way you can splash as much as you want without any clean up. Your Papa is the main bath giver. Mama helps too and comes in to play, but that is your special time with your dad that both of you enjoy.
Dislikes: Son, you hate that you can’t move. There is so much frustration in your little life right now because you aren’t quite mobile just yet. When you are doing your tummy time, you try so hard to move forward. When you can’t on your own, you scream. You also hate being held like a baby. In addition to that, you absolutely hate when you don’t have someone playing with you or holding you. You demand constant attention. You also refuse to sleep anywhere other than near your mom. If we move you or try to put you to bed somewhere other than with your mom, you just lose it. You hate being still. Even if you are in your stroller “on the go”, we have to roll over bumpy areas for you to keep quiet. You hate getting out of the bath tub and back into clothes. You are definitely a tried and true Aquarius (Wassermann auf deutsch). As I mentioned above, we have to constantly think ahead to keep you entertained and keep you from getting bored. You get pretty upset if you aren’t stimulated enough. We have bought books and toys for much older babies that are a bit more challenging to figure out, and you seem to like them the best. You have no interest in “baby” music or music designed for babies. You prefer adult versions and classical music.
Nursing: Since day one of your life, you have been exclusively breastfed. Overall, it hasn’t been too difficult to get used to. The demand on me as your only food source was a bit stressful and overwhelming in the beginning, but now we seem to make a good team, you and I. There was a bit of a struggle around weeks 3-5 with nursing. You would fall asleep after 30 seconds of nursing, and we couldn’t keep you awake. This meant that you were always nursing and never really full. You were still gaining the proper amount of weight and having the right amount of diapers, but your demand was so low. This caused my supply to lessen a bit. Your first pediatrician said I should give you a some formula after nursing to keep you full. Mom disagreed with this completely since she HAD milk to give you. Why buy formula and spend the money?? We just needed to get the supply up and get you nursing more efficiently. You have always been a lazy nurser since birth! Mom worked with her midwife, Tina, and followed a pumping schedule to help. You were given a bottle of breastmilk after your normal feeds which kept you happy. Pumping helped with the supply/demand issue for Mom. Once you were a bit older, we stopped pumping and went back to nursing on demand since you were drinking more each time. And that’s where we are now. You still fall asleep with nursing, so you like to eat about every 2 hours. Lately, you have been doing this super funny thing where you nurse for a bit, make eye contact with me, latch off, and just laugh laugh laugh. It makes Mama and Papa laugh with you. You will do that over and over. Already the comedian….You get that from your mom’s sister, Aunt Lala. 😉
Diapering: For the first 10 weeks of your life, we used disposable diapers. The idea of even using cloth diapers with you and having extra laundry to take care of when I was just barely getting 5 minutes a day without you in my arms just wasn’t happening. After week 10, all of the gift disposable diapers had been used, and you and I were doing well enough to handle an extra few loads of laundry a week, so we started cloth diapering. Mom received lots of diapers as baby gifts, so all it really took was just washing them once, and they were good to go. You still use disposables at night and when we are on the go for several hours. When Mom puts the inserts into the covers, you enjoy watching and having conversations with Mom about the colors, etc.
Sleeping: As tough as our days can be, Mom can usually count on you to sleep well through the night. Since we brought you home from the hospital, you would sleep from 10pm until 3 am every single night. I would change you, nurse you, and you were good to go and usually already trying to fall asleep for another couple of hours. Usually you fall asleep in Mama’s arms around 9pm, then we bring you to bed when we are ready (usually around 10), and you will sleep until sometime between 4 and 5 in the morning. Mom wakes up and changes you, then back to bed you will go. You have never slept in your crib (oops!) though, and you sleep with us in the bed. We tried to get you to sleep in the bassinet in our room next to the bed for a few nights, and you just never took to it. Ever. So, we are just going with the flow and keeping you in the bed with us until you show more signs of going in that direction. Everyone is happier and gets more sleep with you in the bed with us. It also makes our night time feed much easier since I don’t have to leave the bed. Since you are happier, you sleep for longer stretches keeping us all pretty well rested considering we have a baby in the house!
Your daytime napping is getting shorter and with longer space in between. I can still count on at least one nap during the day that is a solid two hours. I have tried everything to get you to sleep in your crib, our bed, the guest bed, or your bassinet, but you never sleep well on your own. If I put you to bed after a feed, a change, and some rocking in your chair, you never go to sleep! If I put you down while sleeping, you will wake up a few minutes later super angry that your nap was cut short. This isn’t easy on Mom during the day, which is why a lot of things around the house get put aside until Papa gets home and can play with you while Mom gets some housework done. No worries though, I am well-aware that you are the only baby I will ever have without any other children to focus on. You get my full attention, and I am totally enjoying taking in every moment as a mommy with one baby. Needless to say, I don’t mind that you need to snooze in your Mama’s arms. It causes me to stop, relax, and focus on just being your mom,
Daily Routine: Some may totally disagree, but I was totally against putting you on a schedule for a long time. I never wanted to deny you nursing or cuddling because your schedule said you should be sleeping or whatever. So, because of that, I never put you on a schedule. Instead, I nurse completely on demand when you want and have allowed you to work out your own routine and schedule which works for us both. The only rule I follow is that as soon as you wake up, I like to change your diaper. That’s it. Over the past few months, you have made your own schedule with me that goes something like this.
*You wake up on your own at 6:15. You have become Papa’s alarm clock for work and school! He gets dressed then takes you into the living room to play while he eats breakfast and gets ready for the day. The two of you have play time together, and Mom gets to stay in bed a bit longer and have a bit of alone time. (Though she often stays awake in bed just listening to the two of you talking to each other.) Papa brings you back to Mom in bed with a clean cloth diaper on, and then he leaves for work around 7:30. You and I stay in bed for another hour.
*Once we are both awake, Mom takes you to your room where she changes your diaper and gets you dressed for the day. Once changed, you come with Mom and lay in the hallway into the kitchen on your soft mat and watch Mom make her breakfast (yours too!!) She talks to you about what she is making and what she is doing. You love listening to the water run in the sink or tea kettle heat water for Mom’s tea. You also like listening to the stove when she is making her two egg whites every morning. You either nurse while I eat my breakfast, or you play in your activity jungle. Then we play together for a few hours or you play alone while Mom gets a few things done around the house.
*Once you show signs of being sleepy, Mom nurses you then puts you in the car seat (if we have errands to run that day) or she just keeps you in her lap for your nap. You will usually sleep for about an hour. When you wake up, you get a fresh diaper and we play play play together. We read books together, we play with your toys together, you have tummy time again (you get it with Papa in the mornings), and whatever else we can do to pass time together. We repeat this throughout the day.
*Later in the afternoons, Mom likes to put you in the baby carrier and take you on walks outside. At first you just slept, but now you enjoy looking around and taking in the view of your birth country. Mom talks to you about what you are looking at, what you are smelling, what you are seeing, and you stay very entertained while Mom gets some much needed exercise and fresh air. If it is rainy outside, you do a mommy/baby exercise video with me instead.
*When Papa gets home, he plays with you while Mom takes her shower post-workout. This is more tummy time and toy playing/reading with him. We usually eat salad and some sort of protein for dinner, so usually Papa prepares that while Mom nurses you. He’s the best salad maker of the two of us as you will soon find out! If Mom is cooking, Papa is still playing with you until you have a meltdown. If it is NOT a bath night, you and I will wait to go on our walk until he gets home and can join us for some family time. If it is a bath night, Mom walks with you alone earlier in the day. That way we have plenty of time to give you your bath at night before you start getting sleepy and fussy.
*We put you in your pajamas at around 8:30. Papa is usually the one who gets you dressed for bed while Mama is cleaning up from dinner and doing other daily household tasks while you are happily entertained. We try to get you tired enough so that you just fall to sleep in my arms around 9 or so. That gives your parents some time to catch up on shows we wanted to watch or just chat. Sometimes you just fight sleep, which obviously is less relaxing for us! If all is well, Papa takes you for one last diaper change while Mom gets ready for bed. He brings you to the bed, and Mom nurses you, and then you fall asleep pretty quickly without fuss! You usually stay asleep for 5-6 hours or longer.
*All of what I wrote as our schedule is a very loose detailing of how our day runs. If you need extra cuddle time, extra sleep time, extra nursing time, I follow. I don’t push you in any direction. If you are awake and alert, we play. If you are sleepy, we rest. Pretty simple. We don’t HAVE to be anywhere on most days, so we just go with the flow.
Social Development: Socially, you are right where you should be. You first smiled the first day of your life. You first socially smiled between 4-5 weeks. Now you laugh, giggle, and play. You get upset when playing stops, well, unless you are SUPER tired and just fall to sleep. You are very aware when people are watching you, and you “perform” a bit. You recognize familiar faces, especially your Oma here in Germany and grandparents back in the US that you see on Skype. You also like getting your picture taken and have started posing for the camera. You love having boy time with your Papa. When the two of you are together, you are LOUD when you talk to him. You also know when people are coming and going, and you know when to expect them. When Papa leaves for work in the morning, you stare at the front door as if you are waiting for him to come back. When you hear his voice when he comes home in the evening, you turn your head looking for him. Very sweet. Whenever you are in anyone’s arms, you always look and find me in the room to make sure I am still there.
Cognitive Development: You are very smart, kleiner Mann! Since the beginning, you have always been very alert when awake. VERY alert. You study everything. One of my favorite memories of you was when you were almost 3 weeks old, and you let us put you in the swing for a few minutes. We played the music on the swing, and you spent the entire duration trying to figure out how the music was being produced and where it was coming from. You watched the little speakers on the swing for so long with this inquisitive stare. Nothing else in the world mattered. JUST figuring out how this moving thing was making music! Speaking of music, you are able to find the beat of music and “dance” to it. I hope that you and I can celebrate and enjoy music together throughout our lives. After speaking with a child psychologist friend of Mom’s, a lot of your fussiness we have found is from not being stimulated enough. So, without hesitation, I stopped trying to get you to play with your newborn-3 month toys and just bought you a bunch of 6 month-one year toys. THIS has been a huge lifesaver for Mom!! You seem much more content when you have something to figure out. You hate rattles and anything just being done for you. You like being able to make things work and function yourself. You follow objects big and small all over the place. At night, Mom turns on the flashlight app on her phone, and we play shadow puppets. This is super fun for you. You are very responsive to books. You love looking at the pictures and hitting the books with your hand almost like you are pointing out what you are excited about. You have a baby faces book, and you LOVE looking at the different faces of different babies around the world. You smile at them and talk to them. You get the most excited when you see the little Asian girl and the little Irish girl. With all of your toys, we don’t have to show you how to do very much. You really like just figuring things out on your own and going with it.
Speech Development: Every day, you just talk more and more. And you get louder and louder! In the beginning, you opened your mouth when we talked to you almost like you were trying to talk back. You have always grunted and made high pitched sounds when you were upset or happy. There was this one sound that you made every time you were excited about something that was just the cutest noise I have ever heard. I wish I could describe it. It almost sounded like a high-pitched coil retracting. At about 9 weeks, you stopped making that sound which makes Mama so sad. Luckily, I have it on several videos and recordings to keep. Now, you are producing lower, guttural sounds and long vowels. You speak when we speak to you, and you take great pleasure in getting our attention for a conversation. You will be raised with both German and English in the home. Papa only speaks German to you. Your Oma comes over and plays with you in German. Your German family speaks German to you. Your Mama speaks English with you. Your American friends and family only speak English to you. Interestingly enough, you can already tell the difference between German and English. When I speak German to your family members and in doing so, slip something to you in German, you ignore me and never respond in any way. When your Papa speaks English to Mama and happens to slip something in English to you, you tune him out and don’t respond. You only respond to us when we are speaking our designated languages to you. In other words, you KNOW when Mama is speaking English, and you KNOW when Papa is speaking German. When you respond to Papa in German or to Mama in English, you respond the same way with the same sounds. Differentiation between the two will come later in speech development, but cognitively, you are already understanding both languages. Very cool! Your father and I have bets placed on whether your first word will be German or English.
Physical Development: Sweet child, you are crazy strong. When you were first born, I heard the nurse say, “He has total neck control! That shouldn’t come for another couple of months!” And that was that. You were born with total neck control and head support. We supported your head just to be careful not to hurt you, but we never really worried about needing to support your neck. Also on the first night of your life outside of mom’s belly, you flipped yourself over. When the midwives were taking your measurements and weight, you surprised them by flipping yourself over from your back to your belly. I truly believe that because I had extra amniotic fluid giving you more space to stretch out, it somehow made you stronger since you could work out those fine muscles more and for longer than babies with less fluid to move freely in. When doing tummy time, you have always been able to lift yourself up with your arms and hold your head at 90 degrees. As long as we keep you entertained, you can stay like that happily for several minutes. You kick your legs and have started propelling yourself forward. It’s not quite crawling but definitely close. Just the other day, your father and I sat in amazement as we watched you change your direction 90 degrees. Usually when you are on your tummy, you enjoy rolling yourself onto your back. We have to keep putting you back on your tummy to make sure you get enough practice time in. Fine motor skills are progressing. Your hands open and close, but you still like to keep them in tight fists, and you still lift yourself up on your tummy with closed hands. I think once your hands open up while on your tummy, you’ll start crawling since your legs are ready to go. In other fine motor skills, you are very good at grasping things and putting them in your mouth. You love this brand of toys called OBall. You love your OBall car and spinning its wheels to make the little colored balls inside the tires make noise. You mostly reach with your left hand, and you are far more developed in your left hand use than your right. It’s too early to tell what hand you will write with, but maybe you will be a leftie like your papa!
Appearance: You are such a doll baby! We are stopped all day every day and told how beautiful you are. In fact, people think you are so beautiful that they always check with me to make sure you are a boy! It must be those long eyelashes! You have big eyes like both of your parents, and you seem to have the eyebrows from your mom. Though sometimes it seems like you have your Papa’s eyebrows too! You have large hands, and we believe they come from your Onkel Jan, Papa’s brother. You have a longer, thinner head like your Papa, but you have your mom’s mouth and full lips. Your eyes are slowly changing colors. They are still blue, but we can see a brown ring inside leading us to believe you will have big, brown eyes. We are waiting to see what shade of brown you have since your mom and dad have two very different shades of brown. Overall, people say you look like your Papa. Mom is totally fine with that. She married a handsome man! Callum, you really are a beautiful little baby, and I am not just saying that as your mom. You are very photogenic and always appear very angelic and soft like a porcelain doll, especially when you are staring at the camera. I love taking pictures of you. We’ve been told to get you into baby modeling. We’ll see. The joke is that God made you extra beautiful since you are extra difficult!!
Callum, you have enriched our lives in a way we never thought possible. I hope that in each smile we show you, each kiss we give you, and in each loving word we speak to you, that you can somehow feel how special and important you are to us. I carried you in my belly for 38 weeks loving you, protecting you, and growing you. Being able to hold you in my arms and call you my son was nothing short of a miracle. The first three months with you haven’t been easy. In fact they have been the hardest and most emotionally charged months of my life. The cool thing about the bond we share is that you and I are learning everything together. I’ve made mistakes, and I will continue to make mistakes. I am hardly a perfect person and even less so of a perfect mom, but I love being your mom. That’s all there is to it! I love watching you discover the world and completing so many firsts in your life. I will continue to watch you complete them with both an excited and saddened heart since you are growing so quickly. My baby boy you are, and my baby boy you will always be. Here’s to the next three months and beyond! I love you to the moon and back.
Love,
Your mother